Values in Marriage More Than Money

What are you looking for? In marriage, in life, in yourself?

Too few of us give enough thought to concrete, long-range goals. Perhaps you’ve only thought ahead to the steak you’d like for dinner tonight… or the football game next weekend. . . . or, at most, to the car you plan to buy as soon as the new models are out.

And why not, you might ask? Live for today! As for the next year… who can tell?

Such an attitude may make you feel carefree for the moment. But time has a sneaky way of catching up with you. And if you do not set your distant as well as your immediate goals early in your marriage, you may one day find that you share the plight of many couples: suddenly a lifetime has passed you by. None of the things you wanted out of life has come your way, and it’s too late now to make a fresh start.

The things you want out of life don’t just “come your way.” You usually have to plan and work to get them.

• You have to know what you want.
• You have to make realistic plans.
• You have to have a time-table, so that you will know what should be done first, what next.
• And you have to have a financial program so that when the right time comes you will be ready, willing and able to back up your plan.

The values around which you build your marriage should combine material acquisitions and spiritual growth. There is no ideal set of values. They will be different for every person. The important consideration is that, as early as possible in marriage (and discuss even before), you explore together the values you consider worth striving for; that you agree upon those values to which you want to give top priority; and that you plan and work together to achieve those values.

The distinction between the two types of values – material and spiritual – is largely a personal one. No one else can make it for you. For most people, spiritual values will include commitment to your own religion and to your own personal standards as a human being, a generous and understanding parent, a responsible member of your community, and a sympathetic and reliable friend. Even learning to understand yourself and to enjoy the pleasures of solitude represents the attainment of a spiritual value.

Material values pertain mostly to worldly acquisitions, to “things” you own. But it is clear that many things which at first glance seem to be only material might be helpful in your struggle to attain fulfillment of your own personal, spiritual values. These are your values, and from them come your rules for living your life. Careful planning can make it a full and useful life in terms of your values.

Tonight is as good a time as ever for the two of you to have your first serious talk about the values you are seeking, for in marriage two individuals become a team. Whether you are just embarking on your marriage or already have had several years experience as man and wife, right now is a fine time to talk about your family goals, and to plan together how you may reach them. Here’s a checklist to help you get started:

• Family
• Work
• Home
• Education
• Recreation
• Future Security
• Personal Development

Continued – Let’s look at Values in Marriage Family checklist HERE…